Killing me softly

Tomorrow commemorates the first year of life of my beautiful little Amani. While it's been a whirlwind of happenings and I barely have time for myself, I usually have time to play a game from time to time. So I, in essence, have time to blog... which incidentally is just as important and probably more beneficial to me. :) Thursday started Ramadan and fasting. I usually try to fast with my husband as a unifying act.  I want to add some of the stresses that have been plaguing me since January this year... First of all, my husband of whom I love and trust has broken trust in me concerning the children. He has been accused of negligence and causing physical harm to Noorah. While this is disturbing and unforgivable in my eyes... I am not God nor am I Judge of him. I am however the protector of my children. This makes for a very hard decision and life if I choose to stay with him. In so much we have been through these past 6 months... from clinging to threads and even the thought of giving up and though it was a real thought and I have been stressed to my breaking point, (I felt as though I would break into tiny little pieces. I wasn't even breathing. I had to take myself and the girls outside often to forget the stress a little.) I still feel this marriage and family is worth saving. I also see my husband try harder at changing than I've ever seen him do before.  Some of my problems with him are magnified more now that this incident has happened.  Problems such as following state or country rules.  Disregarding my advice.  And making me feel like he's not listening are a few.  With the biggest elephant being difference in religion. I feel some days he will succeed in killing me with stress...